"I think earth, if chosen instead of Heaven, will turn out to have been, all along, only a region in Hell: and earth, if put second to Heaven, to have been from the beginning a part of Heaven itself." -CS Lewis, The Great Divorce


Thing #87: hope

Admittedly, today was rough. I dealt with my personal demon, anxiety. It sneaks up when I think I should be in control and am not. So, when it was very loud in the narthex waiting for church, when I didn't know what to do when we ushered during church, and when the youth were asking me what to do and I didn't know what to tell them, I felt VERY anxious.

But I realize there's always hope. I have been reading poetry from Garrison Keillor's Good Poems, and a few have spoken to me in particular. This one, entitled "Hope," really captures my feelings about knowing tomorrow can be better. My favorite line is "it is the singular gift/we cannot destroy in ourselves."

No matter how much damage I do to myself today with anxiety, self-hate, and anger, I cannot eliminate hope from my future or outlook. Today, I am so thankful for that small (but rather large) truth.

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