Thing #92: the running community

I went for my first run since Boston today. I've been thinking about it a lot, but I had not been ready to run, to be away from distraction for enough time to actually digest the information. Here's what I came up with:

I have not always been a runner. For years, I stood loyally on side streets, hills, muddy courses, in rain, snow, boiling heat, just to catch a glimpse of my brother, mom, or dad. And to yell really loudly. While the waiting was sometimes long, the cheering was largely filled with joy. I didn't go because I had to go; I went because I wanted to be there for them.

However, I was an avid non-runner. If anyone asked (and they often did) when I'd follow my family into running, I always replied that I would never run; I wasn't that crazy. I was a good cheerleader, anyway, why did I need to run?

Somehow, five years ago in August, I became a runner despite my repeated promises that I'd never run. Those first steps were more of a stumble, throwing one foot forward in a sort of painful lurching. It was only one mile, but that was all it took. I kept lurching forward until I reached two miles. At the end of August, I saw my family moving toward the finish line of a local half marathon, and I couldn't help but notice that they seemed happy to be have finished their runs. That night I pushed myself to three miles on my run, and I never looked back.

In October, I ran my first 5K, the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in memory of a good friend's mom. I kept going with a 10K in November and a gift of half marathon entry for Christmas. In March, I ran my very first Shamrock Half Marathon. It was a spiritual experience; the volunteers on the course boosted my spirits as did strangers cheering along the course. In the last miles, my (much faster) younger brother, home from college to cheer me on, shuffled one and a half miles and pushed me toward the end. As he left me to finish my race, a stranger running next to me asked if I'd be ok making it to the end by myself. I cheerfully said, 'Yes!' but I never forgot that fellow runner's kind words and helpful actions.

It was that race that kept me going. I haven't always been diligent in my runs, but I do know that the Nike ad isn't wrong. Running has never taken more than it's given me. Even from the start, I have been embraced, even at my slowest pace, as a runner.

But even more so, the running community has given me more than I ever could have imagined. My running buddies - family mostly and a few good friends - have become my most trusted companions. I crave those long runs where we debrief the events of the week. But just as much - though I hate the early mornings - I love the excitement of the starting line of the races we prepare for on the long runs. I love the anxious jumping, the nervous smiles, the extended stretching routines. Mostly, I love the smiles, the conversations, the spirit of community.

As I have grown into this life as a runner, I have received encouragement and advice from strangers and friends. Last summer, at a low-key summer evening running event, I was one leg of a three-leg, three-mile relay. It was clear I was the slowest member of the randomly selected team, but I felt no annoyance from the other two runners. When I ran my mile faster than I predicted, I received only congratulations. It is that kind of support this community offers to ALL runners.

And so, when my running buddy texted me to tell me that there had been bombs at the Boston marathon finish, I gasped in the middle of the Kroger aisle. The community is why I cried when I saw the footage later that day. It's why I still can't fathom how evil crept into a day so full of joy. Why those people - those who I have been on many days - were targeted is something that I just don't understand.

As my dad said in a conversation today, the bomber could not have been part of the running community. There is no way anyone who interrupted a day of joy (and Boston is a day when many runners cast their thoughts North to the streets the runners trace in their 26.2 victory run) understands the positivity of the runners and their supporters.

As a runner, I have run in 100 degree heat, snow, pouring rain, wind so fierce I thought I'd fall over, and faultless sunshine. As a spectator, I've done the same. We are a tough bunch. We thrive on victories others can't fathom ( I ran a mile in 8:30! My hip doesn't hurt today! I didn't have to walk! I ran today even though it was a crappy day!). We cheer for silly moments ( She's still smiling, must be a good day! His arms are loose, running easy today! She's going to make her goal!). We are loyal, dedicated, obsessive. We don't quit.

And so, faceless bomber, nice try. We'll keep running and cheering.

As my family always says, "let us run with perseverance the race that is set before us." (Hebrews 12:1)

Today, I ran for Boston, but I also ran for all the runners and spectators to there who are just like me.

Thing #91: mints on pillows

Thing #90: PURPLE.

This morning, I woke up to the news I had hoped to hear.  I, of course, seemed to be reading Facebook and Twitter posts from every angle possible.  And all of them seemed vaguely ANGRY.

I am hurt.  We forget that politicians are a small portion of the people who have a say in the nation's goings-on.  The people who truly make a difference are rarely the people in office.  We think only they must be held to a standard of change while we continue to bash one another in the same manner they modeled throughout the campaign season.

People, we are BETTER than this.  We must be, or my lack of faith in politicians should not lie in them but in US, the US who I thought could rise above political rhetoric, above shaming one another, above hate.

I recalled this map from 2004 this morning.  In 2004, I was saddened by the ultimate declaration of the defeat of the Democratic candidate, but I saw this map, and I was heartened.  We are not red and blue as the maps we saw last night or this morning indicate.

WE ARE PURPLE.

Today, I am grateful that I can remember that the line is so closely (and sometimes seemingly arbitrarily) drawn between Democrat and Republican that our nation turns purple when we consider percentages of the vote.

I pray that we can remember the purple.  I pray that I can continue to remember - regardless of the nasty social media posts - that we are not so different after all.

Thing #89 - A FREE country

I am a Christian woman fiercely convicted that education will make or break this nation, politicians must focus on bipartisan solutions, economic situations do not fix quickly, and we should worry about the "least of these."  I believe all people deserve the right to have their voice heard regardless of their native tongue or sexual preference. And they should be able to be legally married regardless of what you think YOUR religion has to say about it.  I come from a long line of Democrats on both sides of the family tree; I think like they taught me to think.  I do NOT vote like my husband, and it is not a quiet subterfuge; he knows that I disagree.

And today, I got to vote anyway.  Despite the fact that I declare an allegiance to a God and not a country (true, I won't say the pledge); wear a bra and jewelry to mark my gender; am married while maintaining a job and my own view of the world; and will declare my liberal upbringing to the world - THEY LET ME VOTE.

I am priviledged.  I am lucky.  I am rare in the long view of the world.

We are FREE.

Please, let us behave as though we are.

Thing #88: I AM

Yesterday, I came home from the youth fall festival and turned on OWN.  I am rather shamelessly in love with the programming (and I may be one of only a few).  Oprah's Life Class was on, and I normally don't watch, but something she said at the beginning caught my attention.  On this particular episode, Joel Osteen was the "expert."  I don't really like him.  There's something about his smile that creeps me out in ways only televangelists can.  Regardless, the overall message was "what you say after 'I am' becomes your reality."  Often, we say "I am slow, fat, tired, hungry, angry."  "I am the brunt of the world's badness."  "I am useless."  "I am nothing."  What we speak comes back to us, and that is the message we hear most loudly.  It seemed so simple. 

Last night before I went to bed, I wrote five "I am" statements that I want to be true.  These are not things that are always true right now, but I want them to be.  I want to BELIEVE them. 

I posted them on my mirror this morning. 

I realized that I needed to add, "I am THANKFUL" first of all.  It is the most powerfully true statement, and I need to be that first.

Thing #87: hope

Admittedly, today was rough. I dealt with my personal demon, anxiety. It sneaks up when I think I should be in control and am not. So, when it was very loud in the narthex waiting for church, when I didn't know what to do when we ushered during church, and when the youth were asking me what to do and I didn't know what to tell them, I felt VERY anxious.

But I realize there's always hope. I have been reading poetry from Garrison Keillor's Good Poems, and a few have spoken to me in particular. This one, entitled "Hope," really captures my feelings about knowing tomorrow can be better. My favorite line is "it is the singular gift/we cannot destroy in ourselves."

No matter how much damage I do to myself today with anxiety, self-hate, and anger, I cannot eliminate hope from my future or outlook. Today, I am so thankful for that small (but rather large) truth.

Thing #86: the long run

The last three weeks have been insanely packed with school stuff, fun stuff, and tough stuff. Unfortunately, they haven't included almost any running stuff.

Today, though, included a great long run. After not running more than 5.5 miles for three weeks, I had some anxiety about a long run and definitely about the Richmond half next weekend. Today, I ran a glorious 10 miles. It was chilly but great weather for a run. The average pace of the first 8 miles was an easy 11:15, but for the last 2, I picked it up to 9:23 and 9:07 pace. It felt so good.

So while I'm thankful for the long run, I'm also glad to have legs that'll take me that far, a beautiful state park to run in, and the blue sky to run under. It's good to feel like I'm fully alive.

Thing #85: Good Literature

I've seen all these posts on Facebook about "Thankful Thing #1" and apparently this is some November thing.  I'm guessing it's someone's idea, probably someone famous, and likely someone faithful or religious or something.  Whatever.  I don't know how it started, but I know why.

I am VASTLY under-thankful for the wonderful things that make up my life. Yesterday, I left work early in an effort to avoid a nervous breakdown over stuff I can control.  Instead, I find that this stuff often controls me, or I let it control me, or, well, something like that.  And so I saw all these posts about people being thankful, and I thought, "well, great, isn't this nice?  Now I feel guilty for feeling crappy and that nothing will ever get done ever, and there's still nothing to be grateful about.  Bah humbug."  So whatever, I was wrong.  And negative.  What's new?

Blah blah blah. Whiny Katie.  Blah. Blah.

It turns out that today was a good day.  Today was a day that reminded me why I teach, which is particularly shocking because as I was getting ready to go to work this morning, I thought, "I don't know why I even do this job.  I am not having fun.  I'm tired of it."  The students were witty, insightful, funny, clever, cute.  And I LOVED talking about The House on Mango Street, a book I'm teaching for the first time.  I'm a nerd, but it's because I'm a nerd that I know it's all going to be ok.  Because I got to geek out about the tone of a really great piece of literature.

Whatever.  No big deal.



No big deal at all.

Thing #84: Promethean Boards

The Promethean Board in use (my practice run)

This is an incredible piece of technology.  All I can manage right now is the "write on top of desk top" function, but for me, that is pretty much the most incredible thing I can imagine.  It's a chalkboard, overhead, and projector all in one without the nasty markers or chalk issues.  The projector is suspended above, so the middle of my room is clear of clutter.

I am one happy teacher. 

Thing #84: My Classroom

I am super stoked about the 2011-2012 school year.  One of these reasons leaves me feeling borderline guilty, but only sometimes.  This year, I have been given the gift of having my own room. That's right, room 124 is mine and mine alone.  I am the queen of my kingdom, and I do not have to consult others when rearranging desks, boxes, bulletin boards, or the teacher's desk.  Even better is that I got to entirely decorate the room in things that bring me joy, which, consequently, brings me great joy.  

One thing that I particularly love this year is my bulletin board.  I love a good Mark Twain quote, but this one really resonates with me.  My junior year, I cut this one out and had it taped to the front of my planner.  It seemed to capture what I wanted my life to be, and it still seems to capture my feelings about the future (and encourage me to try things despite my fears of failing at new things).  I hope my students appreciate it, but even more, I really hope that I can live by it this year as I seek to become an even better teacher, a nicer person, and a more deliberate experiencer of life.

Thing #83: Being OVERprepared

We made it through a tough week.  Tuesday held my first Virginian earthquake, and Saturday held the "underachieving" Hurricane Irene.  It was tough, but we pulled through.  (Ok, I know that my jesting is very cruel for those who suffered true damage during both natural disasters)

Still, I was FREAKED OUT by all of the information about Hurricane Irene.  From Wednesday on, I felt as though doom was headed for Virginia Beach.  I spent Thursday packing up my books and desk area.  Let me explain this over-prepared freak out a bit - we're moving soon anyway, and the school year is starting, so I knew that this was a good excuse to filter through some junk and pack up the good stuff.  We also bought canned goods, water, and moved furniture away from windows, then went to the Andersons to camp out away from the oceanfront.

And part of a tree fell down.  Like, half a branch.  And there were a lot of leaves strewn about in the yard.  Yep, that's it.  Oh, and power went out for about 3 hours.

But I am SO happy that we are lucky.  Hurricane Irene's category 3 status fell to a category 1, and seems to have really only been a tropical storm.  The damage was minimal in Virginia Beach, and we are lucky.  I am convinced, however, if we had underprepared, it would have been an awful situation, full of the doom and destruction I anticipated.

Phew.

Thing #82: A(n I live at the) Beach Day

Today, I was determined to do something "beachy," and I needed to run. I decided to grab my bike and head down to Seashore (really called First Landing State Park).  I hesitated and puttered around as I have been doing these past few weeks, but I knew I had to do it.  After all, we're moving soon (God - and Hurricane Irene - willing), and this is the last week of summer of my last summer at the beach.  "I will do this," I told myself.  And I did.

The bike ride was lovely.  There was a cool breeze off the water, and there weren't many people out yet at 9:30.  By the time I got to Seashore, I had worked up quite the sweat, but no matter, time to run.  I didn't run far, mostly because I fell and I felt demoralized.  Yep, I fell.  Ugh.  I was hot and sweaty and gross at this point so relaxing in the water and cooling off sounded perfect.  Time to hop back on the bike and head to the beach at 64th street.  When I got there, I was surprised to find...almost no one else.  This was perfect!  I quickly pealed down to the swimsuit I had put on underneath my running clothes and sprinted (yes, sprinted) into the surprisingly calm waters.  If the beach could always be this incredibly peaceful, I'd never leave.  The water was so calm, I even did a few swim strokes.  I do not "swim" (though I can flounder about if I need to), so this was perfect.  I thought, "I've done the beach triathlon today!"

Then, it was time to relax.  I settled in to my towel and looked out at the splendor of the ocean only to see a delightful group of dolphins playing not far from shore.  I even snapped the shot above when one jumped out of the water!  I love dolphins, and this seemed particularly perfect for one of the final beach days of summer.

I know some people hate the beach because of the sand and the smells and the people and such, but it's just so peaceful and rejuvenating to me.  It is certainly on my top things to be happy about, especially on the gorgeous and awe-inspiring day we're having.

Thing #81: teal and lime green

Today marked my first school supply excursion. I picked up several binders, but I was a little disappointed with my color choices. I made one last lap around the aisle, and there they were:  teal and lime green binders. I knew that I needed some fun colored binders, because these are destined to become my gradebooks for the 2011-2012 school year.  Anything destined for a life as a gradebook needs to be snazzy and bright.  These surely fit the bill.  Plus, these are just about my favorite colors ever in combination (navy blue and deep teal may rank higher - same general idea, just different shades).  Ahhh, victory.

Thing #80: Pinterest

Pinterest is Addictive.
 If you'd like an invite to addiction, let me know.

Hi.  My name is Katie.  I am addicted to Pinterest.

This lovely website - derived from putting together the verb "pin" and noun "interest" - is an incredible idea for the 21st century.  In eras gone by, (mostly) women would snip pictures from magazines and newspapers for inspiration, whether that be images that moved them, words that spoke to them, or furniture configurations that simply must be tried.  However, in the current era, there are so few opportunities for us to actually "clip" ideas from magazines.  We simply don't subscribe.  Instead, as we prepare for our weddings, first homes, and children, we obsessively scour the internet for photos that capture just what we want.  And then we store them in our heads or on Word documents.  (Mostly) Ladies, no longer.  Today, I bring you the joy of Pinterest.

Pinterest allows you to peruse the internet and "pin" these images you find inspiring or helpful to your own digital board.  Or, if you're lazy like me, you may simply "repin" what other people found inspiring or helpful before.  It's a dream for those of us who obsessively patrol the internet when we are stressed or overwhelmed.  It gives us an outlet.

Plus, these things that people post are SO cool and fun and perfect and I love them.

Ok, I guess I'm an addict, but I am so NOT ready to break my habit.  Not even close.

Thing #79: She's in Love with the Boy Take 2 or music through time or something

(Disclaimer - this is also technically the same entry as Thing #34, but this is different.)

Today was a good day, and it was a cool enough night to roll down windows and turn my country music up very loudly.  I decided  "She's in Love with the Boy" was necessary.  Pretty soon, my thoughts wandered to my senior college essay about  "She's in Love with the Boy," when I traced my life through the song, and I showed my growth through the what the song meant to me at every turn.

And as I'm driving, I'm thinking about all those memories.  There's little 5-year-old me, listening about Katie and Tommy and just really excited that my name is in a song!  There's middle-school Katie who is mortified to hear it come on the radio while mom drives.  "Someone might find out that I listen to country," she thinks as she sinks lower in the car.  There's a little older teenage Katie who hears the song on the Charity UMC bus during youth outreach week and sings it super loudly because, what the heck, it's my favorite!  There's senior Katie, looking for inspiration for her college essay, rocking to the radio in her (borrowed) Oldsmobile, realizing this is perfect!  There's 23-year-old Katie, finally dating the love of her life, thinking about how it should be Johnny, and maybe they'll play this at our wedding, and I guess what's meant to be WILL always find a way."  There's Katie in a wedding dress, dancing the second-to-last song with the love of her life, belting out words to the best song ever.  The song about her, her favorite, the song that reminds her "what's meant to be will always find a way."

And there's Katie today, who with the very same love of her life, put in a possible offer on their very first home thinking, "maybe I can blast this on the radio and dance while we paint and live a happy life."


And now Katie is crying.  Because I'm so damn lucky that everything has found a way.  And that I know it.  And that I have a little Trisha Yearwood to remind me.

Thing #78: the smell of campfire

After a summer of countless things to be happy about that I have utterly failed to account for you, I am just going to skip back into the blog world and ignore these past two wonderful months.  Yep, just like that.

As I drive down General Booth toward the oceanfront during the summers, there is a particular part of the drive I enjoy on nice evenings.  Just past Oceana, there is a KOA campground that is painfully close to the road (I often wonder what crazy fool would pitch a tent SO CLOSE to General Booth, then dare to hang their wash out to dry).  However, the major advantage to the campground's proximity to the road is the delicious smell of campfires.  Last night was a particularly mellow night (especially for August - this has been a week of gorgeous weather), and the smell was intoxicating.  It makes me think of Girl Scout bonfires and the summer after third grade when we went on the best family vacation ever (we camped in South Dakota and Wyoming...I promise it was AWESOME).  Like watermelon in my last post ages ago, it smells like summer, though it need not be relegated only to summer, of course.

I guess these little things about living near the beach and driving to my two-year home near the oceanfront have really struck me as John and I contemplate "big kid" decisions like buying a house.  Crazy.

Thing #77: Watermelon

I LOVE WATERMELON.

Since childhood, this food has heralded the return of my favorite season: summer. It also signaled the approach of my favorite childhood day, my birthday. In my mind, the taste and smell of watermelon intermix with squealing games of catch, barefoot runs around the yard, lightening bugs, and thunderstorms. The drip of watermelon down my hands and arms feels like the return of freedom and adventure. Watermelon in the perfect stage of ripeness oozes happiness.

And what else is there to say?

Thing #76: The iPhone

I'm pathetically in love with a gadget. It's cute. It's functional. It's fun.

I'm addicted.

How did I manage for so long without a phone that allows me to both text and time a soccer game? How did I make it through a workday without a device that allows me to peek at the latest Facebook news feed? How did I tolerate walking to my computer to look at weather.com when I could have done so in bed?

These (and MANY MANY more) are the quandaries that I have found myself facing in the past 4 days since the purchase of my latest love, my iPhone. It is incredibly fabulous. I am instantly connected to my Facebook friends, many of whom I'd never speak with ON the phone, thus making it a more practical "communication" tool than a traditional phone. I have discovered that if a call comes through while I am broadcasting my iPod through my speakers, that the caller can ALSO be broadcasted through the car's speakers (though this is a bit creepy, admittedly). I can make really lame pictures look REALLY cool with a free app I downloaded. I can download apps. I can look busy when doing absolutely nothing on the internet to which I am immediately connected. Really, honestly, if I were to go on about the things that I find amazing about this phone, I would likely run out of room and I would certainly exceed your attention span.

I also admit that some of my infatuation with this phone is a result of my lag time in phone upgrades. As one of the few members of the 20-something American population without a phone that did more than text and call, I was a bit behind. I am simply mesmerized that I hold the power to define words, look up a Bible verse, and track my workout in the palm of my hand.

And it's cute. Did I mention cute? It's white, with a delightful pink cover that is no doubt less damage resistant than I require.

Ahhhh...iPhone, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

Thing #75: Mornings

Ok, I know I'm not a "morning person" necessarily, but just because YOU wouldn't want to be around me in the morning does NOT mean that I don't enjoy the mornings.

It turns out that I'm getting old. Over break, I started each day between 7 and 8:30. This is unheard of for Katie. But, it turns out, that I quite enjoy the early mornings. It's nice to wake up as the world comes alive. That subtle shadow as the sun rises is hard to match later in the day. I've also found that working out early is delightful. Let's take today, for instance. Normally, I drive to work around 6:20 AM and watch jealously as others run. Today, I have an off-site meeting all day, so I don't need to leave home until 8. Therefore, I ran at 6:30. I feel great! I can start the day off with satisfaction and not feel the stress associated with the "nap or go run" debate. Also, I feel fairly confident that my coffee will taste better.

Anyway, I just thought it was noteworthy that my perspective on mornings is shifting into this state of enjoyment. In fact, I quite savor them. Delightful.

Thing #74: A new PR

I am not a fast runner, which I have said (and will say) over and over and over again. I am, however, persistent. I just keep at it even when I want to give up. This weekend was no different. It was time for yet another Shamrock Half (the third of them I've run), and I was determined to finish no slower than I had finished in the past. And I didn't.

I finished faster. Five minutes faster.

As I was running, I realized that I was running a steady pace, and I was even picking it up pretty regularly. At 9 miles, I was right at 1 hour 30 minutes, and I knew that the 4.1 miles ahead could bring me pretty close to my 2 hr 10 min goal from January, so I picked it up. I ran every mile after that under 10, and my final full mile (mile 13) was 9:17, which is SPEEDY for me. I kept saying to myself, "Mom thinks you can do this," "you CAN do this," and "God, help me do this!" And I did. I ran it in 2:11:45 which is pretty dang close to a lofty goal I set in January.

I feel strong, accomplished, and just plain amazed that my body (and I) could handle that little extra push. The feeling of a personal record is indescribable.

I'm going to shoot for under 2 hours. I will do it. I WILL.