Thing #55: When students believe you

Today, I stayed after with some delinquent students who had missed two or more homework assignments. As part of their detention time, I went around and asked each student what had caused the breakdown in the homework completion. Most said that they didn't do much homework in middle school, and they hadn't developed a system for getting it done. I asked one kid, "What can I do for you to help you be successful?" His response was, "Could you sign my planner so when my mom checks it, she knows I wrote it down the right way?" Well, yes, I can. That was easy enough. Our conversation continued, however.

As we talked more, I assured him that teachers at Ocean Lakes wanted him to be successful, so they want to help. He shared with me that his middle school teachers didn't really answer questions, often saying, "figure it out." He said that he had learned not to ask questions. He had found that wasn't the case in high school, and he knew that I wasn't selling a bunch of bull (well, not in those words, exactly). What really got me was the way he looked at me like he believed I wanted to help him. He even shared that in math especially the teacher actually smiles - SMILES - when you ask a question, instead of shooting you down.

This comes from the same kid who said, "You explain things really well" last class. The smile on his face when I helped him to understand the story (and I didn't tell him anything, I just asked the questions so he could figure it out) made me realize how great my profession truly is. Even if it is just some days that I remember it.

It warms my heart to think that one kid - just this one - may actually believe that I have his success in mind when planning my day. I feel like I have succeeded in some small way if just he believes I (we) do my (our) job(s) to help the students.

Thing #54: Faithful Study

I am the queen of knowing what is good for me and not doing it. This goes for eating well, running, and working hard for all of my contract hours so I don't have to bring work home. Unfortunately, it also applies to my pursuits of knowledge of God and my faith. In college, I was surrounded by people who were far more diligent in their Christian studies than I ever dreamed of being; their presence led me to try harder to be faithful. Out in the "real" world, my attempted diligence amounted to nothing. I went to church, and when I moved back to VB, I found that the church young adult group was a delightful place to talk about God. I felt content.

But a lot of talk isn't always much action. I know I need more. I need to read, to study, to examine, to learn about God's message and will for my life. It needs to be intentional and deliberate and regularly done.

I have recently signed up for a class devoted to the study of Biblical principles for handling money. It's exciting to be reading, questioning, and examining God's will for our lives. It's also practical; I can take this study into my daily life to become a more faithful disciple. And my brain feels like it's moving again. Learning is contagious; it spreads from thought to action to speech to belief.

I started this Sunday with a little faithful reading, and I think my day is off to a good start. I feel awake and ready to learn. Lovely!

Thing #53: Students...reading

Each year I've taught at Ocean Lakes, I have assigned an independent novel project during the first quarter. It fits in well with our unit on short stories, and I hope that picking out their own books encourages kids to read. I'm not always sure that this is the case, but alas, I hope and pray.

Today was the library-book-check-out day. All three honors 9 classes took a brief sojourn down to the library (ooh ahh) to find a good book to enjoy. This includes the typical gossiping in between shelves and at tables after books have been selected. A fair amount of conversation revolves around the books, but often, the conversations fall to more pressing matters like boys and sports and did-you-hear chatter.

But today, I got the shock of my young teaching career. My third block, mostly pretty chatty and eager to learn girls with a few fairly motivated and insightful young men, went to the library. After a brief orientation, they selected books of interest. One by one, they chose books and sat down to flip through their finds. Suddenly, I realized it had become eerily quiet as the librarian and I conversed. I looked to my right, and there, sitting in careful spacing, were about seven of my students, heads bowed over newly selected books...reading. To the left, around tables I saw the same carefully bent heads over pages of literature.

My heart is still smiling at this amazing sight. How wonderful that these young students have found books that interest them and have heeded my instructions to begin reading immediately. I simply hope that some of them find joy in their selections.

Ok, even better about this - and I can't resist sharing - is what many of them did upon returning to the classroom. Before leaving, I told them to take the total number of pages and divide by 21 to figure out how many pages they should read a night. This would give them enough time to read and have a week left to work on the project itself. When we walked in, out came the calculators and the planners. They listened! They did what I recommended without reminder! They wrote in their planners! Oh joy! Oh happy day!

Thing #52: A deep breath

I get worked up easily. Actually, that's probably an understatement, but I don't know how to adequately word my propensity for quick flare-ups of extreme stress. Regardless of how I describe it, it occurs. I have learned many lessons throughout the years about this stress. One lesson: if you're going to stress about it, DO something about it. Otherwise, lay off the stress. This lesson was brought to you by Multivariable Calculus and a big fat D+ on my record. Another lesson: it's not that bad. This lesson was brought to you by...well, every daggone "I told you it wasn't that bad" moment of my life.

Today's re-learned lesson: Take a deep breath; it's not impossible. And it's not. I have a pretty blessed, obstacle-free life, but I work hard at it. I'm also my harshest critic, which makes success nearly impossible some days. (The "I finished 10 things on my to-do list, but there are still 15 things to do - I fail" days - really? That should be enough for a sane person.) So, today, I took a big ole deep breath and dove in to the stuff that was stressing me out (and called mom for a dose of "it'll be ok" reassurance). I (mostly) worked out a lesson for tomorrow, graded some essays, read up on potential new studies for small group, and created a few charts to round it out. You know what? I feel fine, and I didn't lose my cool. That deep breath kept me from teetering off the edge of productivity into pity-party paradise. Success!

This is probably proof that I am actually growing up. Finally. Now, if I remember to breathe deeply tomorrow rather than flip out, it will be proof that I am maturing. Scary. Very scary.

(and side note: I wish blogs had footnotes. I think that would cure my insatiable appetite for parenthetical comments or at least leave them for the end when you don't have to put up with my inner monologue.)

Thing #51: Dashboard Drum Kits

So, I'm tired. I'm running through the list of incomplete items (numerous) on my (extremely long) to-do list. I'm sitting at the light humming to the music, contemplating what groceries to pick up before my brief drop and run at home. I turn to my left. There is a rather wrinkly older gentleman. And he is crushing the drum solo of a rockin' song. We're talking snare, high hat, cymbal, and, no doubt, base drum, too. He was all over that car, making it bop along with his intense and (I'm guessing) practiced solo.

Which made me think, "What the heck is so important in my life that I can't rock a good dashboard drum kit solo now and then?" I promptly calmed down and smiled. A lot. And then I giggled for good measure.

That, if anything, is a good enough reason to be happy.

Thing #50: The Smell of Rain

I left my windows open a little last night. It was just too cool outside to justify shutting them and shutting out that beautiful beginning-of-fall smell. This morning, the rain is falling, which means throughout my apartment there is the smell of rain. It has a crisp, cool feel that we have long been missing. Summer rains smell lovely, but they are soon followed by suffocating humidity. No thank you. This smell, the one I'm talking about, comes only in the spring and fall when you feel like putting on your sweatpants and comfiest hooded sweatshirt.

What delightfulness. If it is going to rain and insist on being cloudy, it is a blessing that it is at least this delicious smelling kind of ickiness. I can handle that.

Thing #49: Friday Night Football

I am not a sports "fan" so to speak. I really could care less what is happening in a professional football team's season. However, I am drawn to high school and college football. There's a certain desperation in some games - the "notice me, I am great!" push of stars as they strive to find a slot in the next level of competition. There are also the mix-ups and fumbles and head-shakers, and that makes it more human, perhaps.

I also love a good Friday night game. Even in high school, I attended most of the home games (except in awful weather). It began when I was in band and was required to go, but it continued well into my junior and senior years. Now, I rarely miss an Ocean Lakes home game. It's as much social as it is football. I rely on the more knowledgeable people around me to shout out what's going on down on the field, but I do pay attention some.

There's just something special about a Friday night high school game, and I can't describe it in words. It's a feeling and an energy that seems unique to that event. And when the air is crisp and the sky is clear, there's no where else to be. No where.