Thing #30: As Seen on TV

I am willing to bet that 75-80% of items sold on television do NOT work as promised. However, it's that promise of some fabulous feat of awesomeness that draws me in. Yesterday, I bought the mold for the jumbo cupcake. Why anyone needs such an item is unknown; still, I'm incredibly excited to try it out for tonight's dinner. I have no idea if I'll even be marginally successful, or if the product itself will work. The hope that the giant cupcake will be awesome excites me, regardless.

Thing #29: Daddy.

No matter what, there are few things I enjoy like a good conversation with my dad. I remember many conversations (topic completely irrelevant) with dad that lasted for hours. As much as I am like my mom in temperament and perspective, there are things that dad and I see eye-to-eye on like no one else. Like stupidity, books, education, and great ringtones.

I keep rewriting this, knowing that dad will read it. It's silly...I can never quite put into words how comforted I am by knowing that somehow, I'm still daddy's little girl. I respect him immensely, and when I spend time with him, I feel like he respects me the same way. I feel loved and safe and special, like I did when I was younger and dad treated me like a little adult, amused at my opinions, but honestly respectful that I had my own perspective. And when I get a hug from dad, I feel that he loves me. I just feel it.

It's silly how much of a little girl I am deep down. Maybe it's not, though. I love my dad, and I'm so grateful to be able to spend time with him, just the two of us. Dad, thank you for making sure that I feel loved and safe and special.

That still feels insufficient, but it will have to suffice.

How lucky am I that both of my parents are "things to be happy about"? How blessed am I?

Thing #28: Observations being over

As a teacher without tenure, I am observed by my administrator several times a year. Last Thursday, I received an email that said, "I will be doing my first evaluations of the year next week." Immediately, my brain goes to panic mode. "Do I have all of my attendance records straight? Oh no! I must now write lesson plans for the first time all year. Yikes! What will I do that will be both interesting and engaging, not to mention appeal to multiple learning styles and present my skills as a teacher? When is there TIME?" Eventually, the brain settles down, and I get it together. I worry less and less about a horse and pony show and more and more about ensuring that the essentials are there (questioning the students, guiding them to the answer, a little literature, a little grammar, a little vocabulary, a little writing). I get the lesson plans together and the binders organized.

Then, the week of the observation arrives. During most classes I look at the door, thinking, "Will it be this class? This half of the block? Do I have all my binders together?" Regardless of my preparation, my observer always walks in when I'm not expecting it. One observation, he walked in during a rousing round of "happy birthday" I was attempting to get out of the way before the observation may (or may not) occur. At least he was entertained.

So today, my observer walked in to a rowdy class, "studying" for their vocabulary quiz. I am sure that this isn't good teaching technique (the studying for the quiz before the quiz bit), but it's great for a little bit of good-faith report with my students. Whatever. I'll apologize later. Unfortunately, the rambunctiousness only led to 15 minutes of silent quiz taking. Ugh. But, it did get better. We analyzed "Mother to Son" for elements of extended metaphor, and it was lovely. Lovely. They "got it," and they were well on their merry journeys to writing metaphor poems for themselves when he finally left.

And why am I happy, really? That it's over and it's only Tuesday. I can breathe for the rest of the week, knowing that my main objective, really, is to actually teach these lovely students and attempt to grade the ever growing mounds of papers. I will do things at my own slow little pace, knowing that my efforts are simply good enough.

Deep, cleansing breath of freedom from prying eyes (well, until Drew comes to "observe" me on Thursday. But that's an observation without any pressure, except that I be witty and delightful, when I am not always so at 7:25 in the morning with likewise tired seniors).

Thing #27: Coming Home

Trips are delightful. It's fun to see new and old places, to get away from email and most communication, and to spend time with people you love. But eventually, home just seems like a good place to be.

The feeling you get when you drive up to your driveway or parking spot is delightful. It's nice to plop down your bags, check the mail, put on some comfy clothes and just sit and be calm in a place where you are the only one (mostly) to answer to. The grind is obnoxious at times, but the comforting rhythms of day-to-day life are what keep me centered, and I appreciate the rhythms I'm creating more and more.

Ah, home.

Thing #26: The Best Gift

I thought about this post all week, and of course, I failed to post it yesterday, but I don't think it's too late today. There are 12 days of Christmas after all.

Over the week before Christmas, I get stressed out about gifts and things of that nature, which caused me to ponder the ultimate gift - the sacrifice of God's son, whose birth Christmas is said to commemorate (but with all this red and green and Santa fluff, who would know?). Anyway, it occurred to me that I don't always feel worthy of this gift, yet God knew that each person would be worth his sacrifice, and so he sent His son (himself) to be human and die for us. Perhaps my greatest wish for this year is to recognize in myself the qualities that God felt a certain urgency to preserve. The good in me must be evident if God himself sacrificed for it.

While I often feel unworthy, I can easily understand the wonderful sacrifice and gift when I look at others. My dad's compassion and genuine hunger for knowledge, my mom's selflessness and unconditional love... they are qualities that are certainly worth a gift like Jesus.

So this thing to be happy about is more of a wish for all...

I hope that for Christmas, you are able to recognize in yourself and in others the wonderful things that made the birth of Jesus necessary. On this holiday, we celebrate the hope of our salvation and the ability we have to lead lives with certainty that God loves us.

I am happy for the greatest gift of all time. Happy Birthday, Jesus Christ.

Thing #25: Everything I have

Christmas is wonderful, but these two weeks before it are always overwhelming to me. I start to let my anxiety take hold, and then I have no fun. But, always, the day or two before the actual holiday, I get a perspective check.

Today, as I was driving my sniffly and uncaffeinated self to the ridiculously crowded mall, I saw a family walking down the street with a shopping cart full of things and a child who looked to be about two-years-old. I wanted to pull over and ask what I could do, but my America, selfish sensibilities took over, and I kept driving. But I did realize one very important thing: my life is amazing.

I don't have to worry where my next meal will come from. I do not have to worry that my children may not have a place to sleep at night. I do not have to wonder if my family will call or send me a card this Christmas. I do not struggle to pay my power, water, cable bill, or car loan. I have everything I need and almost everything I want. I am one of the luckiest people in the world.

I often feel like I don't deserve the many blessings I have been given. At times like these, I think of Grandpa Ed's question, "why was I born in America and not a poor man in Africa?" Regardless, I know that I deserve the blessings less if I fail to acknowledge them.

So today, I am happy for EVERYTHING I have - the material things and the emotional comforts I truly need to survive. Life IS good.

Thing #24: A working washer and dryer

I'm officially old (as the previous entry asserts and the gray hairs sprouting from the back of my head attest). My new washer and dryer are fabulous. The LG pair play a little jig when they turn on and off as well as when the load is done, not to mention they get my clothes clean. The best part, however, is that I don't have to leave my apartment. Oh, and the dryer allows me to once again fluff clothes a normal person might consider ironing. This renders my wardrobe larger, once again.

Fabulous.